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You'll like her and she'll love you. I promise."We are on a bit of mission, son. There's a man I want to meet you and I'd like him to meet you just as you are, so I'm not going to tell you anything about him except that he'd like to meet you and have lunch with us."Let it be just what it is and I promise to tell you all the details after. OK?" What? I wasn't going to argue. Not likely."Yes sir." Mr. Bell was about fifty, with a fringe of gray at the temples and perfect posture. He dressed the part of a southern lawyer and carried himself with the dignity of a southern gentleman.We drove in silence to Mama's Diner. Seriously - Mama's. I remember David Brenner joking that you should never eat at a place named Mama's and never take a waiters suggestion after ten p.m. That joke was on my mind as we walked in and seated ourselves.The place was well worn. There were old photos and even older posters around the dining room, which gave it a friendly, homey kind of feel. There was a. I took off the remaining three fingers of his left hand so that he had nothing but two thumbs left. I stopped to ask, "Hugo, are you ready to talk, yet?"He started crying, but he would not answer me. He still would not answer after I had cut off both of his thumbs. Well, I was getting tired of this nonsense, so I said, "Hugo, you are a tougher nut to crack than I had expected, and speaking of nuts, let's see how you like the next stage of the interrogation."Hugo shrieked in anticipation when I pulled his penis out straight and nailed it to the floor. "You know what is going to happen next, don't you?" He nodded his head, but still would not answer my question. I slipped a plastic tie around his cock for a tourniquet and held up the knife for him to see it. "On second thought, we'll do something else first." I crashed the pommel of the knife down on his right testicle and smashed it into the floor. Out came the smelling salts, again.When Hugo rejoined me, I said, "Now, the left one.".
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